Perverted songs as sung by Kurama
by The-Textbook-Answer
Summary: Just as the title says. Kurama sings perverted song and everyone is listening. NEW CHAPTER!CHAPTER 4 IS UP!
1. Default Chapter

Well..............this is something I came up with in the middle of the night...................so enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of these songs by Steven Lynch

**Note: Singing Lyrics are in bold print

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Kurama was doing the dishes after the new years party he just threw. Everyone was there. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Shizuru, Yukina, Botan, Kieko, Koenma, and Ogre. He insisted on doing the dishes because..........(oh come on people look at the other choices. Would you trust those idiots around glass?)

" Hey look, theres a plate left," Yusuke said then got up with the plate in his hands and walked twards the kitches. He stoped in the door-way upon hearing some one singing.

' Hey, Kuramas singing,' Yusuke thought. Just then Hiei and Kuwabara arrived with more dishes.

" Hey Urameshi, We found some m-"

"Shh, Kuramas singing," Yusuke interupted. They listened.

**I came down to the breakfast table  
felt like I could cry**

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei eyed each other.

**  
Tried so hard but wasn't able  
to look you in the eye**

" Whats going on her-"Botan was interupted when Yusuke's clamped over her mouth. The rest of the crew was behind her.

"Shh, Kurama's singing," Yusuke whisperd to them.

**For i'm feeling so much shame  
yes i have brought disgrace  
i can tell i've soiled my good name  
by the look upon your face**

**Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it**

Their eye's widenend

**No use denyin it I was really crankin it  
It wasn't my fault ,and it woulden't be so bad Well  
If you could just forgive me and talk to me, dad  
talk to me dad**

Eveyone held back their laughs as much as they could.

**I didn't hear ya enter, no I didn't hear the door  
with my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor**

"OH MY GOD," They all whisperd

**  
Now burnt into your brain is an image you dispise  
like blood and guts and starvin kids and Stevie Wonder's eyes**

They nodded.

**Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it  
No use denyin it I was really crankin it  
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad  
but I wouldn't use those tissues  
They've already been had**

"EWW," The girls whispered

**  
Talk to me dad**

**The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish  
So I said, "Could ya close the door? I really wanna finish"**

"Holy hell," Yusuke whispered.

**  
Now daddy I'm ashamed and I'd completely understand  
If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand**

"Eww"

**Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it  
No use denyin it I was really crankin it  
Well please clam down and don't get mad  
Just because it was your bed **

" Haahahahahah"

**  
It's not that bad.....It's not that bad.......not that bad.......talk to me dad, Woow **

**When I was only seventeen, you told me it was dirty, so  
it must be really creepy when your kid is pushin thirty**

>Snicker>

**  
But you cannot tell me dad that you have never had a whack  
At the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack**

"PufHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA,"

**Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it  
No use denyin it I was really crankin it  
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad  
But I wouldn't use those tissues they've already been-  
just because it was your bed  
it's not that-  
that rascals in storage tomorrow night ocean towniship tomorrow friday o yea **

"What?" They whispered among themselves

"Are you going to hand those dishes over or what Yusuke," Kurama said while still doing the dishes. Everyone anime fell.

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Well.....like it? I've got a lot more were that came from.............And If you would like to listen to this song......e-mail me and I'll send it to you. 


	2. Birthday

WARNING: SONG NOT SUTABLE FOR NORMAL PEOPLE!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu hakusho or this Steven Lynch song .

**Anything in bold print is the song

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**

Today was yusuke's birthday.He was hangning around the house with all his friends. Kuwabara was hanging out with the girls (yes I am implying something) Hiei was watching Kuwabara carfully making sure he dosn't try anything funny around Yukina. Yusuke was stuffing his face with cake and Kurama was nowhere to be found.

"This cake is good," Yusuke said then cut another peice for him to eat.

"You know Yusuke, that you can get sick from all this cake," Botan said while Yusuke stuck a giant peice of food in his mouth.

"Mah, muhm immuned,"(translation: "Nah, I'm immuned") Yusuke said. He swallowed then turned green.

"BATHROOM!" he yelled. Everyone laughed.

After the bathroom moment that I won't write in because its sick

"fwheww, Man It feels good to take a huge dump," Yusuke said. "Hey," He said as he heard the sound of a guitar being played. He slightly opened the door of his room only to find Kurama siting on the floor with his back to the door and playing Yusuke's guitar.

**I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo**

Yusuke's eyebrow shot up

**If Richard Gere can do it, I can too. **

**I get undressed and I start to lube **

Yusuke's eye's widened. Botan walked up behind him."Whats going on?" she asked then listened.

**I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube.**

"What the.....?" she said.

**Wondering just how he'll feel **

**will he like it better than his little wheel **

Botan gave a small gasp.

**careful now he's right beside me**

**one more inch and he's inside me **

"oh my god," Yusuke and Botan said in union. Then laughed.

**GO!!! Gerbil go! **

**Burrow harder, burrow deeper**

Yusuke snickered

**A be my little chimney sweeper**

"Eww," botan commented while laughing

**one thing I forgot about**

**how am I supposed to get you out **

Yusuke was on the floor rolling around laughing his ass off.

**so now my gerbils on easy street **

**it's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat **

"URP," "You okay?"Yusuke asked botan. "I just threw up in my mouth a little," She replied.

**the situation is beyond my control **

**gotta find a way to get him out of his hole. **

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

**I tried crowbars I tried wires**

**almost hurt'em with a pair of pliers**

**tried cheese but he's not biting **

**wish this wasn't so exciting **

"HAAAAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA"

**Go!!! Gerbil Go!!! **

**A Jesus, I am such a sucker **

**A Please get out you fury mother fuc-ahhhhhh! **

"HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAAA"

**I think I am getting ill **

**suddenly he's very very still **

"UPHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA oh.......my god........HAHHAHAHAHHA," They laughed.

**Now it's too late my gerbil died **

**I guess I have committed gerbacide **

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHEHEHEHHEEHA

**here's some advice it's very clear cut**

**if you love your gerbil...don't stick him up your butt**

"HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA >snort> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA"

**don't stick him up your butt **

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA"

**little fury gerbil in your booty hole **

They started laughing hisaricaly.

**And a happy birhtday to Yusuke -**kurama finished then turned aroud with a sly look on his face

"Yeah.......THANK YOU....HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA," Yusuke said. Botan wiped tears from her eyes. After 2 miniuts they settled down and stpoed laughing.

"How did you we were there?" asked Botan.

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hehehehhehehehehhehe...............yeah I have a sick mind................BUT I did not write that song. Sadly. 


	3. If I were gay

People I swear that this is not a Yoai. ITS JUST EXTREEMLY WRONG! And yet halarious...THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVEIWS...THEY HAVE MADE ME SO HAPPY!hugs reveiwers ...wait I'm not a hugging person...ahem anyways moving on...

REMEMBER!...I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of these Steven Lynch songs...If I did you woulden't see me typing this shit!

**Song**

"dailogue"

'thoughts'

>actions>

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"Oh come on, Kurama, I dared you" Yusuke exclaimed. 

"I'M NOT GAY YOU IDIOTS" Kurama yelled at them.

"WE KNOW THAT" They yelled back.

"Yeah, Whats the worst that can happen" Kuwabara asked.

"You mean besides me being the dragons next victim" Kurama shot back. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at him with puppy eyes.

"You know... thats not cute" Kurama commented. They sweatdroped.

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" They begged. "Well take blame if anything bad happens." Kurama gave up.

"Fine" Kurama went into the living room, with his guitar, were Hiei was sitting alone, eating sweet snow, and watching T.V. Kurama gulped and started playing the guitar. Hiei looked at him. Kurama began to sing.

**Here we are dear old friend**

Hiei glared

**  
You and I drunk again**

"I think your the one drunk baka fox" Hiei commented

**Laughs have been had and tears have been shed **

**Maybe the whiskey has gone to my head**

"Damn straight its gone to your head" Hiei commented. Kuwabara and Yusuke were laughing. Hiei grew suspicious.

**But if I were gay, I would give you my heart**

Hiei droped the spoon. Kuwabara and Yusuke laughed harder.

**And if I were gay you'd be my work of art **

Kuwabara fell from laughter

**If I were gay we would swim in romance  
**

"Your gonna be swimming in deep shit when I'm done with you" Hiei said.

**But I'm not gay so get your hand out of my pants **

Hiei twitched incessantly. Yusuke pissed himself.

Its not that I don't care, I do  
I just don't see myself in you

Hiei threw up. Kuwabara pissed himself.

**Another time another scene  
****I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean **

Hiei threw up again only this time on Kuwabara

**If I were gay I would give you my soul  
If I were gay I would give you my hole...BEING!**

Hiei 'eeped' and held his sword in hand.

**  
If I were gay we would tear down the walls  
But I'm not gay so why don't you stop cupping my ba-...hands  
**

He unsheathed his sword...

**  
We've never hugged, we've never kissed**

"YOU CAN BET YOU ASS WE NEVER WILL" He yelled.

**  
I've never been intimate with your fist**

Hiei threw up, eeped, twitched, twitched again, and glared.

**  
You have opened brand new doors  
Get over here and drop your...drawers  
**

He knew everything now...

"Wow...do you really love me Kurama" Hiei said with stars in his eyes. Kurama sweatdroped.

"EWW NO HIEI WHAT ARE YOU NUTS...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Kurama said then ran out of the room . Hiei sat back on the couch with his sweetsnow.

"No...but it was the only way to get you to leave me alone while I eat my sweetsnow...hn. HAHAHAHHAHA...Baka fox thought I was gay HAHAHAHAHHAHA" Hiei continued to eat his sweetsnow and watch TV.

"Hn...Damn Jewish lady with a nasal problem... >twitch> SWEETSNOW"

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hehehehehehe...well hope you liked it...NOW REVIEW OR THE NEXT ONE WILL BE WORSE! Let me give you a preview... _Song I'm a rich and famous doctor, I'd always thought I'd be, an expert in the field of , Gynecology... _Well...till next time! 


	4. Your sister

**MY EXPLINATION** I'm sure many of you are waiting to hear my explination for not updating in a while so here it is. The day after New Years (when I last updated)...I was attacked by a giant, rabbid, antelope... It bit me so I turned into an antelope. SO for 3 months they had been conducting a formula to turn me back to normal...If you are wondering if it worked then all I have to say is NO I'M TYPING WITH MY GIANT ANTELOPLE HOOVES! Anyways...this fic is rated PG-14! Great use of the F-word.

**TO YOUR REVIEWS LOOK AT THE END OF THE PAGE!**

**DISCLAIMER **I own nothing...not the songs, not the show...NOTHING!

**REMEMBER **

(authors note)

"Quotes"

'thoughts'

Person_:singing_

**

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If you want to hear this song go to the link on my profile.**

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Kurama and Kaito had entered Thier college's Talent Radio Contest to raise money for the school's band fund. (A/N DON'T ASK I COULDEN'T COME UP WITH A REASON!) They had entered in hope to win the prize money...well Kiato did. Kurama just entered because Kaito bugged him and threatend him with the "I'll tell your mother about your life as Youko!" thing, till he agreed . They were going to preform a song Kaito wrote. Kurama had to play guitar and sing as well. People were begining to show up. Yusuke, kuwabara, hiei, shizuru, yukina, keiko, and botan all said they would come and watch. Backstage, Kurama was fixing his guitar while Kaito practiced singing. Kurama cringed. 

"Your voice cannot sound better no matter what...so STOP trying!" Kurama said in a bitter tone. Kaito looked back and smirked.

"Your bad attitude about this is not gonna ruin my day...I'm WINNING THAT MONEY!" Kaito exclaimed. Kurama Glared.

"Band nerd," He said in a low tone. Kaito glared. (A/N: I Was a band nerd...-.-;;;;)

"Your in band too!" He shouted. Kurama smirked.

"At least I play drums... and NOT THE FLUTE!" (I was a floutist...NO I DIDN'T PLAY THE FLOUT!)

"HELLO YOU GUYS," Botan's perky voice was herd from the distance. Kurama looked back. They had all arrived.

"Oh hey," Kaito said. Kurama waved in a very bored manner.

"Hey...you ok kurama?" Yusuke asked. Kurama nodded in the same manner. Yusuke shurged.

"UP NEXT IS YUU KAITO AND SUICHI MINNAMONO!" The announcer's voice boomed throughout the place.

"Well Its our time... Wish us luck," Kaito said as he made his was on the stage draging kurama along by his shirt.

"Good luck," Yusuke said loudly.

"Break a leg!" Botan shouted.

"Can it be Kaito's!" Kurama shouted back. They all made their ways back to thier seats.

"OK! You can begin whenever you like!" The announcer said. Kurama began playing with a vengful look in his eyes.

KAITO:_ I like my toast buttered_

KURAMA: _and I take mine dry_

KAITO: _I dig the Beatles_

KURAMA: _I'm a Stone's kind of guy_

KAITO: _I have fine taste _

KURAMA: _and I like things cheap_

KAITO: I _wanna stay up all night_

KURAMA: _I just wanna sleep...with your sister_

KAITO: I'm sorry What did you just say?

KURAMA: what?

KAITO: you said something about wanting to sleep with my-_uh I like the sunshine_

KURAMA : _and I wanna nail your sister_

KAITO: see there you just said it again-_ I like Julia Roberts' movies_

KURAMA: _I just wanna F>>> the shit out of your sister_

Everyone gasped

KURAMA: _Now kaito you would rule_...

KAITO: What are you talking about?

KURAMA: _If you said "Its cool"_

KAITO: Its not cool!

KURAMA: _I'd go pick her up at her Junior High School...YEAH YOUR SISTER_

KAITO: Woah wa wait that sister?

(tempo speeds up)

KURAMA: _I JUST WANNA F>>> YOUR SISTER! I WANNA F>>> HER IN THE F>>> ING FACE AND IN THE F>>> ING HAIR_

KAITO: WOAH WHAT WAIT!

KURAMA: >_CENSORED> _(I can't bring myself to type this)

KAITO: >censored> WAIT!

KURAMA: WHAT?

KAITO: WOAH BOB-DAMNIT (my word) You wanna F>>> my sister?

KURAMA: ...yes.

KAITO: You wanna F>>> my sister?

KURAMA: Yes

KAITO: ...26.50

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NOW I KNOW I PROMISED another song in my last chapter but I coulden't find the lyrics. Well...this is the end of the chapter...if you wish to listen to this song I will post the stupid little link on my profile. That is all thank you...WAIT NO! The reviewers thingy...well I'm not gonna say things to all who reviewed because that would take hours...just the ones with questions and crap. **I THANK YOU ALL THOUGH! I'll try to update sooner now.** **

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Lord of the dark Fluffiness I really don't where I got the idea for this. shrugs **

**chrissy** No I did not make these songs up... The guy who writes this is STEVEN LYNCH.

**PEN AGAINST SWORD **I learn these sick preverted things from the best... And they know who they are...Are you dead?

**Quittakingmyname **I learned from you...

**Samuraiduck27** How does he know they are there you asked? That will be revealed in the end.

**tsukinochi** Yes, All songs are by Steven Lynch.

**Botonmaster** Akel, I didn't need to know you pissed yourself.

**hiei and kurama's fire fox **I'll try to send it I swear

**asian princess 61 **I based kurama's reaction to my own. I CANNOT STAND YAOI AND SHONEN AI...IT CREEPS ME THE HELL OUT.

**Silver-kyubi **Its can and it will -

**IdiotWITHAnEmailAdress** . ;;;;; I love your name.

**MOOboy714** I wish I could write my own stories but I can't. Begin a 14 year old girl with no experience of things like jacking off or haveing a gerbil up my butt I can't come up with anything.

**_

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WELL ONCE MORE THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS! _**

**P.S: FOR ALL OF YOU WHO REQUESTED THAT I SEND YOU THE PREVIOUS SONGS...I WILL RE-ATTEMPT TO DO THAT BUT YAHOO IS A BITCH SOMETIMES SO YEAH...THAT IS ALL.**


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